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Learning About AdoptionLearning about adoption does not have to be a major or traumatic issue for your child. If your child is of another race, it will be obvious to one and all from early on that she was adopted.
But even if your internationally adopted child has blond hair and blue eyes just like you, it is still important for you to discuss the adoption from early on, says Lois Ruskai Melina, author of Raising Adopted Children, Revised Edition: Practical Reassuring Advice for Every Adoptive Parent .
That way she will be comfortable bringing up questions later on. Here are some tips.
Resolve InfertilityMake sure you have resolved any lingering infertility issues you may have, so that adoption is not an issue with you and won't be an issue with your child. If you feel the need to constantly tell everyone your child is adopted, then you may have infertility issues that you need to deal with.Start From the BeginningWhen your child starts learning about adoption, make sure you start at the child's beginning rather than when you adopted the child. Talk about the country she came from, and what you know about her birth parents. Address her birth parents by name if you know them.Explain the probable reasons she was given up for adoption - the difficult circumstances the birth parents were in and how it painful it likely was to give her up. Reassure your child she was not given up through any fault of her own. Instead, she was placed for adoption because her birth parents couldn't take care of her. Also, make sure she understands that while she may have two sets of parents, you, the adoptive parent are the permanent mom or dad. Reassure Her She is Not Alone
While she is learning about adoption, reassure your child that she is not the only one out there.
There are thousands of children who are adopted every year, including many from the country of her birth.
It's Okay to be CuriousLet your child know it's okay to be curious about her origins that she is welcome to come to you with any questions about her past. Be honest when she is learning about adoption and asks you questions. If there is something you don't want to share with her until she is older, tell her. And if there is something you don't know, tell her that as well.Be CasualIt is usually better to bring the matter of adoption up casually during everyday conversation. That way your children understand it is an issue you are comfortable with and will feel free to discuss it with you when learning about adoption.More Information on Raising Adopted ChildrenAre you single and thinking about adopting? It can be tough to be a kid raised by a single parent, but there are also advantages to being a single parent.Adopted children who are now grown can tell us a lot about how to raise an adopted child. Here are some tips. The first time you hold that precious child in your arms, you may be tempted to protect her from every conceivable harm. But that may not be the best thing for her. Here are some reasons to avoid helicopter parenting. Although it is rare, there are failed international adoptions. Learn the warning signs before it is too late by reading this article. When celebrities like Madonna adopt, it has an impact on international adoption for both good and ill. Learn how. |
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