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Coping With Infertility

Coping with infertility is tough. I should know; my husband and I struggled with infertility for seven years before we adopted our first son, and then we had a frustrating, six-year wait before we were able to adopt a much-wanted second child.

I remember one time in Sunday school when prayer was requested for a young lady considering abortion. A well-meaning man sitting nearby told me, "Too bad you couldn't adopt that baby." I nodded...and then burst into tears, a humiliating experience both for me and the poor man sitting next to me. depression

The Pain of Infertility

Infertility is an excruciating experience, especially when you hear of others becoming pregnant so easily and then considering throwing that precious life away. It's miserable trying to be happy when you get birth announcements in the mail from friends and relatives or when you attend holidays and birthdays and watch your cousin hug her children. And baby showers? Forget it.

Unfortunately, coping with infertility is something we all have to face. It's never easy, but there are some tips to remember to make it go more smoothly.

Allow Yourself to Grieve

Not only is it okay to cry over your infertility, it's important. In her book, Empty Womb, Aching Heart: Hope and Help for Those Struggling With Infertility, Marlo Schalesky talks about a turning point in her own infertility struggle, when she realized she had experienced a loss as deep and painful as that of losing a loved one.

When we dream of becoming a parent, we imagine a child with our looks and abilities, and we tend to fall in love with that vision. As adoptive parents, we need to let go of that imagined child, grieve the loss and then move on. Take a flower remedy such as Willow or Gentian. Pamper yourself for a little while.

Remember You Will Become a Parent

It may seem impossible now, but it will happen and sooner than you think. One of the hardest parts of coping with infertility is the sinking suspicion that because you're infertile, you aren't meant to be a parent. Nothing is further from the truth. Adoptive parents are typically far better parents because simply because they truly appreciate their children and work at being good parents.
When you run into bumps in the road along your adoption journey, seek help. Learn more.

Want to adopt, but don't know where to find the money? You can find a great resource here.

Infertility is far more than just a frustrating experience, it is something you must grieve. Read more.

Return from Coping With Infertility to the Home Page.

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