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Helicopter Parenting and Why
You Should Learn to Say No
Helicopter parenting is probably the last thing you're thinking of as you prepare to build a family through adoption.
Heck, if you're like me, you probably never even heard of the term as you prayed and planned for that child.
But it might benefit you to think about it now, in between filling out paperwork, furnishing your future nursery and fundraising activities.
That's because as an adoptive parent, it can both a huge temptation, and a detriment to that precious child you can't wait to hold in your arms.
What is Helicopter Parenting?
Helicopter parenting is being over involved in every aspect of your child's life to the point that you literally hover over them, hence the term "helicopter parenting".
Naturally, you will want to keep an eye on your daughter's every move when she's crawling on the floor, and yes, you need to make sure she has a jacket on when she goes out into the cool air - at least when she's small.
But if you find yourself making sure your tiny tot finds friends at the playground, you're likely going too far.
It's only natural to want the best for your children and protect them from traumas in life, but you have to learn to stop now - or better still - never start, or you could wind up like some moms who call their college-aged children in the mornings to wake them so they can make it to class on time, as well as do their laundry and organize their schedules.
Playing secretary to your children is neither healthy for you nor your children, and while college may seem far away, it will be here before you know it.
A Healthy Development
Pain and failure are two of the most beneficial elements of a healthy development.
I homeschool my son, and I've noticed that he rarely remembers the quizzes he aces.
Instead, it's the tests he fails that he really pays attention to.
Look back at your own experiences.
As excruciating as some moments in your life were, the painful episodes were likely the ones that taught you the most.
Your children are no exception.
They need to learn to solve the small problems now - and learn to deal with failures - before they are in college and at the workplace.
Setting Children Up for Failure
Take over too many times and your child gets the message that she is incapable of handling anything in her life.
You will cripple your child to the point where she won't be able to function for herself.
Dr. Frankenstein
College administrators as well as employers have remarked that children raised by helicopter parenting - those moms who bring repeatedly brought in homework and forgotten lunch money - develop a sense of entitlement and expect to always be taken care of this way.
It makes them real monsters in the workplace.
And besides, without mommy around, it can get pretty lonely.
I once taught a child in Sunday school with a hovering mom who at the age of five was already out of control and impossible to deal with.
In a rare moment of truth, he looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nobody likes me."
Nobody likes the kind of monster helicopter parenting develops.
So do that precious child you are waiting for a favor and plan to back off now.
More Information on Raising Adopted Children
Are you single and thinking about adopting? It can be tough to be a kid raised by a single parent, but there are also advantages to being a single parent.
Adopted children who are now grown can tell us a lot about how to raise an adopted child. Here are some tips.
Getting ready to raise adopted children? Here is what I have learned so far.
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